Monday, September 30, 2013

Learn from My Mistakes

These are my new glasses. Note the arrow on the right side of photo. You may have to click on the photo to enlarge it.
You may not be able to see the problem, but it’s small and shiny.

Today’s advice is: Do not (NOT!) pick out frames for your new glasses while wearing your old glasses and when you are peeved because you learned that your insurance will not pay as much  as they said would for the frames and they won’t pay for your exam because the eye guy is not one of their recognized providers.

If you choose not to heed my advice, you may make the same mistake as I did and  discover a day later that the frames are decorated with tiny little rhinestones—tiny, but rhinestones nevertheless. I thought it was simply a decorative metal embellishment. I really did need to have the old glasses changed.

I’m not really a rhinestone sort of person, but I’m sure they will look quite nice when I wear my matching tiara when having dinner at Ron’s*.

*See post of 9-17-13

Friday, September 27, 2013

Another Phone Adventure

A few months ago we terminated our Directv service. Since then we receive special offers several times a week by mail so we will re-sign with them. They seem to be most anxious to get our business. They tell us that we are a most valued customer--yeah, right. That could be because I always pay a little more on the recurring monthly bills that necessary. In fact, when I cancelled the contract, they owed me almost $150.00.

Earlier this week, we were out doing errands when my phone rang. I answered because I couldn’t read the incoming call information; the sun was bright and I didn’t have my new glasses yet.

Me: Hello.

He: This is Directv and I like to tell you about a special offer we have for you if you come back to us.

Me: You’ve caught me at a bad time. I’m driving.  Could you call some other time?

He: Why don’t you pull over so we can talk now?

Me: What? (I was astounded.)

He: Just pull over and we’ll talk now.

Me: No.

I then hung up without a good-bye or even an invitation to stick his special offer where the sun doesn’t shine. I felt a little bad, because I was almost as rude as he was. Well, maybe not all that bad.

He hasn’t called back. I guess they won’t be offering us another $200.00 gift card.

Thursday, September 26, 2013


Mr. Fixit ordered a small item from Amazon. The delivery details informed him the package would be delivered today by the USPS. Tuesday I received a voicemail from “Dave Meyers, our UPS driver” asking that I return his call ASAP to confirm delivery details.  It went to my voice mail because my piece of crap phone malfunctioned as it often does. I assumed the call was in reference to Mr. Fixit’s order from Amazon. Amazon has actually changed carriers on shipments before. Did I mention that good ole Dave had a marked Hispanic accent? After almost 50 years I have developed an ear for this particular accent.

I returned his call Wednesday morning. After being transferred several times, I finally was connected with Dave; I recognized his voice. He said that he wanted to confirm the address for the delivery. I told him our address. He put me on hold “to  check the details of the delivery.” When he came back on the line, he said that he would be recording our conversation. That was the first feeling that something was a little off kilter. He then mumbled something about Publishers Clearing House. The light bulb appeared over my head—Dave with an accent?—Not an Amazon delivery?—Do UPS drivers personally call to verify delivery details? I asked, “Did you say Publishers Clearing House.?” He replied, “It’s Publishers Clearing House, INTERNATIONAL.” Before he could ask me for any other info, I told him that I did not want anything from PCH, International or not. He then wanted to know why I would refuse whatever it was he was offering. I had figured out by that time that his next request would my credit card number to pay for shipping and handling or some such thing. Anyway, I again told him not to “deliver anything from PCH” and hung up. I wanted to be perfectly clear on his “recording.”

When I explained to Mr. Fixit about the call, he wondered how they obtained my telephone number, name, and address. I realized then that they had only my phone number, not my name or address. We no longer have a landline so the cell phone number isn’t readily available. The number was probably robo-dialed, and, stupidly, I gave him the name and  address before I realized there was something goofy going on.

I hope there are no repercussions from my having given out the name and address. Some months ago, the State of South Carolina revenue information was hacked, and the free credit reporting service we received just lapsed. It makes me worry.

Perhaps I am being paranoid and I just passed up a gazillion dollar poster-sized check that would be delivered by Dave and his balloon-bearing minions. Somehow, I don't think there has been a climate change in Hell or that the three little pigs have sprouted wings.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Burning Question of the Day

What has happened to America’s favorite side order, the French Fry? (Or should that be “french fry” or “French fry?” It’s not often I type that particular phrase.) They  ain’t like they useta be.

Whenever I cook potatoes at home, whether boiled, mashed, or roasted, every potato is clear of spots. Potatoes to be baked are scrubbed with a brush. I really to have a thing about my potatoes.

To be honest, I seldom make homemade fries because of the step necessary for a crispy bit of potato that doesn’t get soggy two minutes after it’s removed from the cooking oil. In order to achieve the desired crispiness, the potatoes should be dunked into ice water and dried before frying. That’s just a little too labor intensive for me. Thank heaven for frozen fries and fast foot emporiums (emporia? – I’m having  brain glitches this morning.) But something has changed.

Those pretty little strips formerly packaged by Ore-Ida are no longer pretty. The have countless bits of peel and/or dark spots which could be anything from blight to dirt in my estimation. The sames goes for fast food fries. It seems like every purveyor of fast food now serves fries, whether straight of curly, with peel attached and those same dark spots as the frozen ones I sometimes serve at home.

Of course, they (whoever “they” are) tout the fact that all the vitamins and minerals are in the peel. In my opinion, that a good excuse to lower labor costs; leaving the peel (with its dirt and or blight in tact) costs less. I would rather take a sanitary vitamin tablet that to eat dirt or blight. Who knows how well that potatoes are washed.

Mr. Fixit and I decided to have lunch at Ron’s the other day. You know who Ron is, right? He’s that clown with the big feet. I said to myself that Ron does have the best, unspotty fries in the land. Yea! You can imagine my disappointment when I pulled that first fry from it’s container and saw bits of peel still clinging and spots. What the heck? This heretofore ideal fry has gone to just another spotty side order just like all the rest.

So what is the answer to my problem with fries? At the end of the meal, I had a pile of ends with peel and spots that I discarded in that great trash bin in Ron’s establishment.

(Did you notice how I cleverly avoided the “French” or “french” question? I simply omitted that descriptor. Now if I could solve the rest of my problems so easily…)

Monday, September 9, 2013

Living in the Past

When working a crossword puzzle recently, one clue read, “Dana who played the same role in two movies.”

My first thought was of Dana Andrews who was in the 1944 classic, “Laura.” I couldn’t come up with the two movies mentioned in the clue. My next thought was Dana Wynter, who was in the 1956 version of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” Again, I couldn’t think of the character she might have played in two movies.

I sat there thinking for several minutes before I gave up and decided to work it out with the interlocking clues.

After completing the puzzle, the answer was “Carvey”  who was in two “Wayne’s World” movies. Hmm. . .I haven’t seen either one of those. My age is showing; Dana Carvey never even entered my mind.