Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Adventures in Dentistry - A Rerun

Today I had an appointment with the dentist to get a filling. While I was lying in the chair with my eyes closed, I smelled a smell that reminded me of an exchange between my late, younger brother and me. Even with the run-on sentences, it makes me laugh. Thinking about it eased the discomfort and reminded me of his quick, macabre wit which I miss terribly.

From: Lucy
To: Kevin

I went to the dentist again today. He did more impressions for my new partials. He had a tool like a Drimmel with which he cut notches in some of my teeth to hold the new partials in place.
I usually close my eyes so that I don't see what he is doing, but once I opened my eyes, and there was smoke rising from my mouth! Thank goodness, they had a fine spray of water going at the same time or my remaining teeth could have gone up in flame. It smelled like bacon that has been burned in the microwave oven.

From: Kevin
To: Lucy

Yes, you are VERY lucky that the water mist was working, and you're right about the bacon smell. During my last extraction (we old hands at this, refer to teeth pulling by the technical name, extraction), the dental micro-hydrator (more technical terminology) in the next cubicle became plugged with enamel debris, and a little old woman's mouth burst into flame. Needless to say, the dentist and hygenist were shocked into stunned inaction. All they could do was watch in horror. The little old lady, with teeth and tongue ablaze, jumped up from the chair and ran down the hall past the entrance to my cubicle. It was quite a sight. Bright yellow flames licking at the old dear's blue-toned coif. Her screams still haunt my slumber. As I am on the safety committee at work, I had noted the placement and type of fire extinguishers in the building. Knowing that there was a Type ABC extinguisher located on the wall at the end of the hall for which she was headed, I ripped my bib off and ran after her. I knew that the flames would obscure her vision and chances were that she would run into the wall, bounce back a few feet, and probably fall to the floor in a blazing heap. I made my way through the smoke filled corridor, and as I predicted, I found her in the floor right in front of the extinguisher. My safety training took over at this point, and I grabbed the extinguisher and used the fire safety acronym, P.A.S.S. Pull the pin, Aim the nozzle toward the fire, Squeeze the trigger, Sweep the area of the fire. Just as I got the fire out, the stunned dentist arrived and began resuscitation. She was transferred to the burn unit at the University of Louisville where she underwent many painful skin graft procedures to her cheeks, lips, and the tip of her nose. There wasn't much they could for her tongue though. She was left with a stump. The poor thing will never again know the joy of a Basking-Robbins double scoop rocky-road waffle cone. As for me, my stomach still lurches at the smell of certain microwaved pork products.

I thought I told you about that. Didn't I tell you about that?