Chantix - Part 2

This little post was written a day or so after I informed Mr. Fixit of the problems I was having; I neglected to date it.

A Little Humor Helps

Tonight at dinner Mr. Fixit said he was going over to help Ben at the trailer park. He said, “I have a very important question to ask you. Do you get ‘stressed’ when you are alone?”

I said, “No. Well, unless I lose the packet of chili seasoning.”

January 20, 2008

During the past two weeks I have continued the Chantix. Some of the side effects have abated somewhat but have not completely disappeared. The vivid, realistic dreams continue, but I don’t wake up in a rage. I’m handling the depression; it’s still there, but it’s not as bad as it was. Maybe it’s because I know what’s causing it. I still have trouble focusing. I can’t settle down to any one thing. I have new projects to start and old ones to finish, but I can’t seem to get myself together. The sensitivity to loud, shrill noises isn’t as bad. Yesterday was Noah’s birthday party. The squealing of kids having fun was painful, but I just stepped out of the room for a while. As long as they were just loud and not squealing, I was okay. I still feel completely exhausted most of the time.

Now I’m beginning to worry about something else. This drug causes the brain to allow you the same feeling as smoking a cigarette. What happens when I stop the drug? Will I have the same withdrawal systems that occur when nicotine is stopped? Hmmm, it might be better to try the cold turkey method and have the withdrawal without the dreams, depression, and lack of focus. No, I would still have the depression and the lack of focus I’m sure.

The bottom line is—It’s true that it harder to kick the nicotine habit than it is kicking heroin (not that I have first hand experience with heroin).

February 10, 2008

Almost a month has passed since my last entry. I’m still having vivid dreams, and the depression has become my constant companion. I seem to be better at keeping my temper in check. I haven’t posted to my blog for a while. It seems I can’t put two coherent thoughts together.

I am going to take this stuff one more month and then try tapering off. I have an appointment with the doctor the middle of next month. I plan to tell him all the problems I’ve had so he will warn other people before prescribing this no-smoking aid.

On the up-side, I haven’t had a cigarette in two months. I have no physical cravings, but when I’m really feeling “blue” or stressed, all I can think about is smoking.

February 25, 2008

Yesterday I decided to begin weaning myself from the Chantix. I took only one tablet yesterday instead of two. I took it in the middle of the day. I was a bit worried that I would be having problems this morning, but again I waited until lunchtime to take it. I was not going crazy for a cigarette. The best part was a few more hours than usual of uninterrupted sleep. I turned off the light about 1:30 am. I only had to get up one time, and I fell asleep immediately upon returning to bed. I slept until 7:00 am. Only a mildly disturbing dream. Usually I turn out the light any time between midnight and 1:30 am. I sleep for a couple of hours, wake up, and stay awake until 6:00 or 6:30 am. I go back to sleep for an hour or so. That’s not enough sleep for me to be productive and to be a normal, rational person. I hope this works out.

My goals are to remain a non-smoker, to rid myself of this constant “melancholia,” to stop these dreams