Consequences of Citizenship

Once again I have been summoned for jury duty. I have been called to service several times in our city court which handles mostly traffic infractions and the occasional misdemeanor. I have also served as a juror in the university court. They handle infractions that happen on campus--drinking, disturbing the peace, etc. I have served in the county court in a civil matter. There is only one other juror list that I’m aware of and that’s the summons I received Friday. I have an invitation to appear in Federal District Court in June.

At first I thought, before reading the summons, that I was expected to serve in Columbia, SC. That’s a 2 1/2 drive from our house. I was beside myself thinking of all the problems that would cause. When I finally had a chance to read the entire packet, I saw that I’m being asked to appear in Greenville which is only 25 miles away. Still it’s not something I really want to do.

I have never tried to duck this civic responsibility. I’ve found it interesting. Something tells me that in Federal Court whether the case being heard is civil or criminal, it could be deadly dull. I wouldn’t be too interested in listening to a financial fraud case or insider trading.

In the local courts you may asked to be excused if you are over 65 years old. In Federal Court, you have to be 70 to request to be excused. Darn!

As I began to fill out the questionnaire to begin the process, I was wondering how I could answer the questions without lying but perhaps leading to my exclusion.

Question: “Describe the condition of your health:” 

Answer: “"Fair”

Question: “Medical Problems”

Answer: “Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, aching knees, hips, shoulders, elbows, ankles, faulty memory and various other minor afflictions attendant upon persons of my age.”

Question: “Are you a member of MADD, CAVE, or any organization that supports the rights of victims?”

Answer: “No, but I could change my party affiliation to the Republican party if that would get me out of jury duty.”

Question: (This is a real question asked.) “Have you displayed any bumper stickers on your automobile in the last 12 months?”

Answer: “Vote for Santorum,” “Vote for Obama,” “Green Peace,” “Women’s Rights,” “ACLU Sucks.” Okay, this would be a lie, but it might make them think I’m nuts.

The one question and answer that may insure my disqualification is: “Have you or anyone in your family ever worked for a lawyer or law firm?”

Answer: “Yes. I was so employed.”

Of course, I gave factual answers to all the questions instead of the answers I wanted to use. It’s possible that I will be learning more about financial skullduggery or medical malfeasance than I ever wanted to know. I can only hope for an interesting bank robbery case.