Fears and Tears

Yesterday Mr. Fixit and I went for a drive into the mountains of North Georgia. There was still snow on the ground in shady spots, and in some not-so-shady spots. But it was a beautiful day for exploring until we started up a winding mountain road. We were on the outside lane on the fall-into-the-abyss side of the road.

Over the years my fears of heights has become a problem for me. We must have gone only a half mile; I was riding with my hand over my eyes. Mr. Fixit was driving. Not only was the drop-off very steep and deep, there were no guard rails. My pounding heart had jumped into my throat, and I developed that awful queasiness. I guess Mr. Fixit noticed my state (how could he miss the woman sitting next to him moaning and hiding her eyes?) so he turned around at the next available spot. We took and different route.

This was our first trip to the area since the drought ended. Just across the Georgia line, there is a big lake. I think it may be part of Lake Hartwell. Two years ago this section of the lake was almost completely dry. There were several little streams through the dry lakebed, but you could have walked across without getting your feet wet. Yesterday if was filled to what looked like full pool with people in boats and fishing. With the reflection of the bright blue sky, the water looked as blue as tropical seas. It was so beautiful to see the full lake tears came to my eyes.

I can’t understand why my emotions are so close to the surface lately. Thank goodness, not all my emotions was out of control--I finally overcame my rage after getting off Chantix. It seems I get teary-eyed with very little provocation whether I’m happy or a bit sad. This heights phobia is not pleasant at all. I seem to fear a lot more things than I did before. What is happening? Is this a natural part or aging or am I just loony?