Today is the day before Mr. Fixit’s surgery. He is on clear liquids only and nothing red or purple. He was instructed to to drink 8 oz. of water hourly. He food today has included bouillion, popsicles, jello, and water. He’s taking it better than I thought he would.
This morning the cat came through the cat door (he usually pats on it and waits for me to open the door for him) and plopped down on the floor. He could hardly breathe. There was a distinct whistle when he exhaled, and he couldn’t seem to get any air. We took him to the vet as soon I could get ready. He said that it sounded like a heart problem from the symptoms and what he heard when he listened to his heart. I made the decision to have him put down.
He was the last one.
Then we had to come home and get ready for Owen’s talent show dress rehearsal. Jason had explained that we would miss it on Tuesday, and they said we could attend today.
All the children were terrific as usual. The little ones are my favorites, they are all so poised on the stage. All the singers really belted it out.
Owen was the last one on stage. He did a hip-hop dance that was fantastic. I sat in that auditorium and cried. His talent takes my breath away.
My emotions are running close to the surface these days. I’ve been trying to hold it together so Mr. Fixit won’t see how afraid for him I am, but I sort of lost it. I cried all the way home behind my sunglasses. I walked into the kitchen and headed for the back door to check on the cat. It was automatic, but unnecessary. I lost it again.
After tomorrow, if everything goes okay, there is only one more hurdle facing us—the lung biopsy. We don’t have the timetable on that one yet. I have to pull myself together for Mr. Fixit. I’m trying hard.
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