There's More to Life than Matinees and Pots of Tea

A blogger, on the occasion of her 40th birthday, titled her post, “So This is 40.” Her post brought to mind a particular day when I was about 35 years old.

I was at the bank making the company’s deposit. I was feeling a bit put-upon. Normally, I loved my life; I loved being with the boys; I liked my job. But that morning I was thinking, “I am no longer Me. I’m Mr. Fixit’s wife, I’m Ben and Jason’s mom, I’m Stuart’s secretary. What has happened to Me?” My life seemed to be filled with karate, Little League baseball, Cub Scouts (I must have been the world’s worst den mother.), a full time job, keeping books for two companies in my “spare” time at home, and laundry and cooking.

I noticed the lady in line in front of me. She looked about 45, had on minimal make-up, and her jeans actually had creases. I was so impressed with those creases. My jeans never had creases; I was lucky to get them ironed. I was wearing a suit with a partially un-ironed blouse, full make-up, nylons and high heel shoes. There were many mornings when, after ironing clothes for the boys and putting creases in their jeans, I had neither the time nor the inclination to iron completely my own clothes. I learned a little trick; I only ironed the fronts, collars, and the cuffs on my blouses when I was wearing suits. Of course, I had to wear the jackets all day.

But getting back to the lady. . .The teller greeted her by name and asked her what she had planned for the day. The lady said, “I think I’ll have lunch at Friendly’s (a regional coffee shop chain in New England) and then go to a matinee.” At that moment, I found something to aspire to. When I was 45, my children would be on their own and maybe I wouldn’t have to work anymore. I had no ambition to become vice president of the company; I worked not for fulfillment, but for the money. I didn’t want to travel. When I was 45, I would have time to go to a matinee, to have a tuna salad sandwich and a pot of tea of Friendly’s, and time to be Me. I wanted it more than anything at that moment.

No, I never realized my little dream of matinees and pots of tea. Time and circumstance have changed. I have no desire to attend a matinee by myself and you couldn’t find a pot of hot tea in South Carolina if your life depended on it. It doesn’t seem important now. I’ve raised two great sons who have gifted us with wonderful grandchildren, Mr. Fixit and I was in reasonably good health, and we are blessed in many ways. I’m happy Mr. Fixit and I have lunch together almost every day and we are able to occasionally watch a movie in the afternoon on DVD.

It just seems funny that I remember that moment in time so many years ago, and I remember the feelings so vividly. I can’t remember what we had for lunch yesterday.